[ILUG-Social] [Humour] Windows 2000 ...

[Breathnach, Proinnsias (Dublin)]

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the North Dublin version
of Windows 2000 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Ireland. If
you have one of the North Dublin editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.
 
The North Dublin edition may be recognised by looking at the loading screen.
It reads "Windoze 2000" with a background picture of a syringe superimposed
on a photograph of the The Anna Livia.
 
It is shipped with the Guinness screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labelled 'shite'
Dialup Networking is called 'all me mates'
Control Panel is known as 'the fuckin' computer settins'
The Hard Drive is referred to as 'big fuck-off disk'
 
Other Features:
OK = alroi'
cancel = fuck that
yes = roight
no = no bleedin' chance boss
find = go an' get it your fuckin self
help = I can't fuckin' do it
start = go on ya good thing
personal folder = all me shit
 
Also note that Windoze 2000 does not recognise capital letters or
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Windoze 2000:
type ritor = a word processor
cullarin book = a graphics package
addin masheen = calculator
choons = CD player
dole = accounting software
bevvy = local off-licences by postcode and price of Guinness
porno = Microsoft Internet Explorer
 
We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the North
Dublin edition. You may return it for an immediate replacement.